Mutual Hatred
by Shoedynn
Summary: M/M As an unlikly couple, Saren and Anderson have always had feelings for eachother, but they drifted apart with time. But before the Reapers, before Shepard, it was just Anderson and Saren...and that was all they ever wanted.
1. Having A Drink

Saren and Anderson were in a love-hate relationship, and to an extreme that cannot be imagined, they would regularly get in fights, and have make-up sex, wake up, do their separate missions that would take between hours and weeks, and when they were together they would get in a fight and have sex, and the cycle continued. But something was amiss lately, Saren would arrive back and not be in his mood, and the same would happen with Anderson, the fire was starting to flicker and die. This was exactly why Anderson told Saren to meet him here, at this busy, public bar, so they could talk with the pressure of not getting in a fight riding heavy on their backs. Anderson arrived at the bar about ten minutes early to his 'arrangement', Saren arrived thirty minutes early. Anderson saw him at the back of the bar, so they could hear each other without public distraction. He could see Saren was sweaty, toasty, and completely pissed off at just one human in particular, and he was walking straight towards him.

"You're early." Saren slightly staggered in his pronunciation of his words, suddenly, Anderson had to try to come up with a plan to talk to Saren about what was going on, without a public display of anger. This was not going to be easy.  
"Is there a reason you're drinking right now?" Anderson was trying to be careful with his words. "Yeah, you, you are the reason I'm drunk, happy?!" Saren spat a little, showing fatigue and frustration, there was no way this conversation was going to get far, it was over, and both should just go home and talk in the morning.  
"I'll see you later, Saren." "What a God-damn second Anderson, now you told me you wanted to talk, so let's talk, now." Saren said it loud enough to seem like a shout to Anderson, and a whisper to the other patrons. Anderson was trapped.  
"Okay, fine, let us talk; let's talk about what has been going on between you and me, huh? What is up with that problem, Saren?" Saren replies a second later "Is there a problem, or are you just making more excuses for why you don't love me anymore, blaming me for something your too stupid and childish to comprehend"  
"Like you even know what you are talking about, the only reason I am here is too..." Saren cut him off "To break up with me, right?" No emotion was seen between them, only a sigh came from Anderson before he replied.

"Fine, we're done here, good night." Anderson was bout to get up, but Saren was too quick, and blocked him. "If we really are through, then fucking say it, say it and I will let you be free, so you can just be the fucking best you can be with you other boyfriend." Anderson was surprised, but was able to contain himself. He was curious as to how Saren came to that conclusion, so he let Saren continue, uninterrupted. "I was seeing were you would go after our little 'fights' and I say you start going to clubs, and following others home, and I noticed that there was always one guy that was the same, you two hooking up or some shit!" Anderson did do that, the club part that is, the person that was always came out of the club with him was his the owner of the club, and an informant. Almost every night, for a few weeks, Anderson would for information about the local gangs' leaders, but he was not his lover. For once, Saren made a choice based on repulse, a mistake on his part. But Anderson loved Saren too much to say that, instead...

"Your right, I was cheating on you, but because I thought you were cheating on me, and I came here to talk to you about..." "Shut up, you did not think that, you lying sack of crap, shut the fuck up!" Saren was almost wasted at this point, the alcohol setting in, and rage building. "I am sorry Saren; I didn't mean to hurt you."  
"Hurt Me, Ha! That's cute that you think you mean something to me you SACK OF CRAP!! I hate you!" Saren was starting to make the nearby patrons nervous, and walk away. "Would you calm down, you're scaring the other patrons..." "I don't care, don't care about anything anymore." Saren drank the last of the bottle in his hand, now empty, unlike his intoxicated liver.  
"I am not breaking up with you, now get up, we're leaving." Anderson grabbed Saren's arm, Saren pulled away and clawed his face in one full move. "You hit me!"  
"Yeah, so...?" Everyone in the bar was staring at the two of them, Anderson turned and walked away, Saren turned his back, and Anderson talked Saren to the ground with all his weight lunging forward at him, Saren fell flat on his face. Blood of blue and red, from Saren and Anderson, were splattered on each of their faces. Now the REAL fight was about to begin.


	2. Wtih Wrath Comes Love

The whole bar filled with a mix of energy, testosterone, and a lot of liquor, and this fight was only going to intensify the scene. Now on the floor, Saren was caught off guard by the tackle of Anderson, which felt like and looked very painful, but he shook it off. Without thinking, Saren elbowed Anderson in the face so as to get him off, and rolled him onto the floor. Saren quickly got up and prepared himself for this fight ahead; he was not about to go down that easily. Anderson was slightly bruised, but it was barely visible in the darkness of the bar, still, he knew this was not going to be a fight he would not walk away easy from if he keep getting hits like that. It seemed from a spectator's view, it was a set match that was designed for the audience; as if the bar was the Roman coliseum, and the fighters were paid gladiators, both with the objective to eliminate the other for viewer pleasure. The cheers shouted from the patrons in the bar made sure that everyone knew which side they were on; turian or human. Though it was tough to hear each individual's convictions through the wave after wave of shouts and mocks; Saren's sharp mind and ear were able to divide the rambles into coherent words and sentences.

It was now obvious who was for whom "…kill him! Make him pay! Destroy that human, make him weep…" shouted one of the turian patrons. Words also escaped from some human "…get up and show that fucking turian who is boss in this galaxy!" It was pretty clear that no body knew or cared how this fight started, the only thing that mattered to them was how it was going to end, and they wanted blood. Saren quickly looked towards Anderson, who seemed more ready than ever to fight, like wise was Anderson's view of Saren. In a split moment, both charged at each other, Anderson was going to land his fist into his opponents face, but Saren dodged the blow and countered by kicking his feet off of their stance and into the air; Anderson soon found himself on his back, slamming onto the ground. The cheers and screams mimicked each motion with a cheer of praise, of a shout of scorn, Saren and Anderson could care less about what others thought, all they wanted was to win. Saren saw his moment when the unprotected chest of Anderson was staring straight up at Saren, and Saren replied with a stomp right on top of it; he stepped right on Anderson's heart, and for a moment, it felt as though it was crushed by an elephant. A cough and some blood escaped from Anderson's mount to Saren's face, he quickly wiped it off and was about to do the same move again, but Anderson grabbed Saren's foot at just the right time, and he pulled Saren down to the floor, and by twisting his foot, Saren landed face first; and large "Ooooohhhhh!" was heard around the bar.

Staring at the floor, a stream of blue blood left the nostrils of Saren and slowly dripped to the floor; he was actually injured. Saren was pissed now, and he sprung up as if nothing happened. He pulled Anderson up, who was starting to get back on his feet already, and gave a solid hit to the opponents stomach, the blow to his torso almost made him puke. Saren solved that dilemma by a side kick to Anderson's side, crippling him to his knees; Anderson realized he was losing, and if he didn't start blocking, this fight wouldn't last long. Saren was pulling him up to try to land another knee, but Anderson twisted around and threw Saren over his shoulders, yet it did little but make Saren dizzy. Saren knew what was going on, and so he himself twisted his body, while holding on to Anderson's arm, attempting to make Anderson tap out. The audience at this point was going crazy over the fight, with this much action going on, the patrons were too intrigued to go back to their own lives. Anderson tried to ignore the pain and move away, so as to remove himself from the situation. Yet seeing how this wasn't working, he head butted the face of Saren, allowing for more blood to pore down; Saren just held tighter. Saren was being bombarded with head butt after head butt, and so, after a few pints gone from his head. he finally decided to let him go. The best way to do this, in Saren's mind, was by kicking his opponent's back, making him fly across the floor. Saren knew that this was becoming a stalemate, and though he hated to admit it, it was becoming challenging to prevent all of his opponent's attacks. Anderson was thinking the same thing, how was he going to beat a turian specter using only basic military training, Anderson could get some hits in, but he could plainly tell via noticing the floor for the fourth time, that winning was second to surviving. Both were taking a short breather, and Anderson thought this was the 'perfect' time to talk "Tired yet…ready to give up Saren!" Saren just smirked, chuckled, and spat out some blood that was accumulating in his mouth.

"C'mon, stop fucking around, FIGHT!" the spectators were getting anxious for the fight to continue, and for the hell of it, Saren and Anderson both thought "…why not?" Saren decided to attack first, and charged straight into Anderson, but not before Anderson threw a face full of liquor that partly blinded Saren for mere moments, just enough time for Anderson to intercept the charge with a tackle mixed with a chock slam, quiet beautifully choreographed. Saren found himself surprised, which rarely happens to him, it infuriated him, making him want to fight even more. Saren copied Anderson and was chocking him too, both were strangling each other, tiring to kill the other, and in a split second, all the hate they had for each other was replaced with a burning passion for each other; and it showed, because what were once cheers for blood that came from the on looking, boozed up, intently watching men, turned to sounds of disgust and silence. The once fight turian and human were making out, on the damp, dirty, and bloody floor. Only seconds went by, but it seemed to last forever to Saren and Anderson, Saren being on top of course got up and helped his human counterpart to his feet; they paid the tab, left the bar, walked to their apartment, washed up, and continued the 'meeting' up in their room.

The last sounds to come from the room were of Anderson asking Saren "Don't you hate relationships?" really asking if Saren cared about him. Saren responded with a yes, in the words "…what relationship, I just like to fuck you." Anderson just laughed it off, knowing exactly what Saren meant.


	3. A Long Walk

A/N: This is to be the morning after the fight, and all. I felt like I had to put the past in there to finally end this whole tiradeof betrayals and such. Possibly it was the fact that it is almost completely centered on the past that makes this chapter fail slightly, but this was going to be needed info at some point in time, and it ties this to the last chapter so...yeah.

ALSO, you might notice I changed to way I spaced this story. Seeing how everyone else is doing it, conforming to the majority might be a good thing, this time!

* * *

Saren awoke to find that he had slept in, till about two in the afternoon; he was late. Saren noticed the dark, beautiful figure that was next to him in his king sized bed; so comfortable, he just wanted to stay there all day, next to Anderson's sleeping body. Saren gently stroked it, and got out of bed to put some clothes on. He chose a simple and casual look that fit him nicely.

The apartment was a decently small size, still big enough for a king size bed and a bathroom at least. Saren was starving, but he would have to hurry if he would want to arrive less than an hour late, and with one last look at his lover's body, he closed the door behind him, went down the stairs, and started his long walk towards the place where he has been having an affair.

Saren flashed back to how it started.

_Ever since Saren has been going out with Anderson, he as been kinder, gentler, and more subtle whenever Anderson was near or around him; something about Anderson made Saren think less about what he wanted, and more about what Anderson wanted. It was the fact that Anderson had control of him that made him angry. At first he did not notice, but soon enough, the effects were quiet noticeable, he felt betrayed, enraged, and above all, hatred for Anderson. _

_Saren was completely different, low will, low esteem, he was broken down; where Saren would usually be able to persuade very successfully, he would just flop under pressure and lose. In his mind, which at this point was too screwed up to understand the real situation, felt the only way to fix his head was to have an affair; to hurt Anderson as he had somehow hurt Saren. _

_His once legendary honor and strength was diminished, his whole life was falling apart around him, until he saw this nice looking turian that through desperation and primal urges, he had to have; and so he did. _

_He met him in a club, did a mix of stalking and flirtation to win him over, and followed him home. He didn't even know his name; he just wanted to release some anger and frustration; as long as it wasn't Anderson who was seeing this side of him, he felt as though he was accomplishing something, and it showed. His mood, attitude, and even the clarity of his mind improved, it was all looking well, until on his was to his affair's apartment, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Anderson, on the other side of the street; thoughts popped into Saren's mind. _

_"Why is he here? Does he know? Did he follow me?" While these thoughts went through Saren, Anderson was just walking forward, while Saren stalked from a distance; Saren was safe from sight. Saren's head questioned the nature of this unexpected arrival, "Why is he here?" following Anderson a few blocks farther, he found his answer._

_Anderson went inside the bar; the same bar that Saren went into a while back for an affair. Suspicious, Saren waited outside for a full hour, just watching the bar's door for Anderson. Eventually Anderson left, but not without a whole group of other people surrounding him; an arm from some stranger human hung around Anderson's neck._

_Saren quickly looked away; too pissed and incognito to do anything, he simply let it go for the time being. This only gave Saren more of a reason to have random sex with a stranger, whom he barley knew his name._

This cycle continued for a whole month. Saren would go to have sex with him, whoever he was, and on his way, he would see Anderson leave with a presumed "counter" affair. It was all the same until the fight last night he had with Anderson, that was when Saren knew that he wanted only Anderson, and that was the reason Saren went over to his affair's apartment. So he can tell him it is over, and to start a new.

He might hurt his feeling, but why should Saren care, he never like him anyways. Saren took out his omni-tool that he always had on, and sent an IM written "It's over, were through. Goodbye" A chime was heard from his omni-tool with the words "message sent" on the screen. Saren would have preferred to have been there earlier so as to say those exact words to his ex-affair's face, but a text message would have to suffice.

His walk back went slower and somewhat uneasy; it wasn't guilt for the Saren's ex-affair or anything involving that, and it wasn't a sense of betrayal or backstabbing that poisoned his mind, but what? Saren was dumbfounded, but maybe if he made an excuse for where he was, and buy something nice for Anderson, he would tighten up those loose ends and all would be well.

Saren made a quick stop to buy some beer for last night, purpose irony being involved, and all would be well in this love-hate relationship. Saren opened the door to find Anderson still in bed, Saren loosened up his outfit, popped open a beer, and poured a little on Anderson's bare back; "…huh…wait, what the FUCKING hell!?" Anderson's shout would have woken the dead.

"Good morning princess, want some?" Saren was half chuckling, half asking Anderson if he wanted a beer; he played out this scenario in his head on his way back to the room. Anderson would exclaim Saren to go "Fuck" himself, quickly wash up, and with a towel wrapped around his waist, grab a can, chug it down, and throw the empty can at Saren with a laugh…and that was exactly what happened.

Saren was in the clear, so why did he say what he was about to say? "Anderson, I have something to say…now don't become to infuritaed with me, but…I cheated on you. Sorry about that."

Saren, with an indescribable urge, felt like if this relationship is to last, honesty was key; Anderson's philosophy on their relationship was to not have an affair. Anderson started the conversation off in denial

"…oh, I see, this is some funny joke."

"No, I really cheated on you." Saren took a sip from his beer.

"No you didn't, you have no reason to cheat on me."

"I have all the reasons…" and so Saren listed everything that he felt was a 'good-enough' excuse for having an affair, and each one made Anderson feel less, and less stable…and more, and more enraged at Saren. Saren ended this list with "…just for some examples, okay?"

Anderson took a few moments to respond "So, what your saying is…we're through?" Anderson was on the verge of cracking.

"No, see, last night I felt a passion I haven't felt in the longest of times, all because of you. So I left him this morning…you okay?"

Anderson was just a bad excuse away from killing all living organisms in the room, the closest being Saren. "So, Saren, what was his name?" Anderson didn't want to kill Saren, but if Saren just said one more stupid reply...

"Oh, I never really cared to ask, why?"

…the consequences would be dire.

Anderson just stood there, glaring; with Saren barely tacking notice, and thirsty as can be from explaining his side of the affair, Saren move for another drink. "You know Anderson, you were right; this truth thing really is good for the soul, or whatever."

Saren popped the top, was getting ready to sip, and that's when Anderson fired his military standard issue pistol right at Saren's beer, mere centimeters from his face. In a wondrous explosion of beer, the glistening, foaming, golden liquid sprayed all over the room, covering the entire bed, and Saren on it.

Anderson then stated in an act of explanation "There is no way in fucking hell that you are going to tell me that you cheated on me, and that you didn't even care who it was; so much so, that you didn't ask any type of information of them. I hope you didn't burn too many bridges with this person, because there is NO FUCKING WAY that I am taking you back that easily!" The gun never left his hand, nor did it turn away from its target, now being Saren's head.

* * *

A/N:OoohNoo, what's Going to happen next; will Saren die, will Anderson kill himself, am I even going to write the final chapter to this 4-part short story...WHO KNOWS!!

The ending was nice and all, I wish I could have added more emotion to the words, but I'm just overly simple and too retarted to make well documented wrighting(thanks to those who DO review, I love you...I do..._forever!!_)LOL

Shoe


	4. Just let it out

The room now had the stench of alcohol, wafting through the air; a tribute to Anderson's remarkable aim, and a warning for Saren to understand that he has, indeed, angered him. Saren took a quick look at his surroundings, and was able to figure out that it would be weeks before this room would have an absolutely odorless atmosphere. And, of course that Anderson's military standard pistol was one trigger pull from giving the room a new paint job; a nice, splatered blue, curtosy of Saren's would be shot out brains.

This would not be an easy trial to escape from. "Hey, babe, why don't you just put the gun down…" Saren was expecting to be interrupted, but he wasn't, leading him to believe that Anderson was more pissed twn usual if he wouldn't even intervene. "…and we'll discuss this like professionals, okay, baby?"

You would think that from his tone, that Saren himself was completly unaware of his current dilema, but he was more curious more than anything else. He never saw Anderson truly angry; Anderson was able to become annoyed, edgey, and frustrated, but anger was one emotion Saren never expected from him.

Saren waited for a response from Anderson to his question, and he waited a good fifty seconds, and Anderson finally spoke in a tone of voice that can only be described as monotone in every sense of the word.

"Why? What is there to gain in this conversation?"

Saren was ready to keep this little talk going as far as it would go to get the gun pointing away from his skull. that means the gloves were off, and that anything was ppossible.

"Maybe we would talk about our…our _feelings_…right?" The phrase almost made Saren want to get shot by Anderson. Anderson would have been more than happy to comply at this point, but he was now just as curious of this situation as Saren, and wanted to see where this talk would lead them both.

"Okay, Saren, lets talk about our feelings, you go first. How do you feel about having a loaded gun , point blank, at your cranium? Just express yourself, just…_let it out_!"

It was an obvious mock of Saren, but as before, Anderson's voice was as steel; no emotion, no care, just bold, tough, and cold. Saren, in a sudden spark of what could be possibly a plan, theroized that, he must force Anderson to show some tiny, microscopic amount of emotion. Maybe then, at least, he'll then have a chance of survival.

"I feel, I…I don't feel any…I love you. Do you love me, Anderson?"

"No, but _please_ continue."

Saren lost points for being too eager to finish the conversation; this was going to be long, and so he might as well make it even longer.

"Actually, I don't love you, at all. That is the exact reason why I fucked some other ass. Your ass was way too deformed anyway. Its really disgusting, maybe you should get it checked out, for your sake." Anderson just pointed the gun, but he relaxed his aim a little, leading Saren too believe if he kept making a complete idiot out of himself that Anderson might laugh. Or he could get shot at sooner, wither way seemed likly.

Saren raised his voice, trying to sound enthusiastic "Hey, just kidding, like I would come back just to insult you. No, I came just to get my stuff. After all, this is my apartment." Saren knew that to clam full ownership of the apartment was a declaration of war on soverign territory. But when the gloves go off, they stay off.

Anderson knew what Saren was trying to do, but now he was too eager to see what would happen next. He couldn't help but to follow Saren's lead, for now. "Your apartment, we both pay for the rent you…"

"I saw it first..." Saren stuck at the end of Anderson's statement; with a childish annoyance in his voice "I signed it first, and I paid for the first week and every other week there after. If not for me, we would be on the street, so…you're welcome."

A slight smirk was starting to make its way across Anderson's face, but Anderson recomposed himself, and straightened his aim. Saren was losing ground that he was attempting to gain. his method was working, but only as a staler; practically a waste in the ultimate goal of not dieing. What was Saren going to have to do for Anderson to smile? The answer was simple, there _is_ no way to have Anderson smile.

This is a serious issue, and a laugh isn't going to fix it, but perhaps more anger?

"You know, I'm glad your parents are dead!"

Shock washed over Anderson at the randomness of the statement, but he stood stoic and astute, in contrast it the now desperate Saren.

"What they would think of their son, being both a faggot, and an alien lover? I'm just glad I wasn't there when your parents were forced to hear you tell them." Saren thought if he got him angrier, Anderson would become sloppy, and he would be given a chance to disarm him. A smart plan, if not a dumb one, but if there was one emotion Saren didn't know much about when it was involving Anderson, it was anger.

"My parents loved me, and they wanted nothing but my happiness. Is your plan to stall me working to your advantage, Saren? I can't tell, can you?" Saren was now a dead man at this point. He used laughter, anger, nothing was working; he was completly exhausted of resorces.

A smart person would stop and accept his fate, a smarter person would say their sorry, and ask for forgiveness. But Saren wasn't the smartest person when it can to human emotions, or emotions in general, but he did have one last idea in his mind.

Miraculously, Saren, out of an act of pure desperation, mixed with the fear of having his skull left without a 'whole' brain and the attempt at understanding emotions, _cried_.

He simply slumped down, took a breath, and thought of everything that has happened to him, and cried. Anderson was disgusted, and it showed, bluntly.

"Oh, what the hell is this crap?! Wait, SHIT! Great you happy, I'm angry is that what you wanted, huh, is _this_who you want me to be, huh…ANSWER ME you..." Anderson stopped, and took a look at Saren, and noticed his tears, and that Saren did this not for an emotion from Anderson, but to show _his_ feelings.

Saren, the person that all knew could stand on his own, here he was, fetal position on the bed, tired from this whole ordeal, and "_letting it all out"_.

Saren, shouting for Anderson to paying attention, exclaimed, "You don't understand! All I ever wanted *sniff* was to be the best, and I, *cough* I *cough* I just wanted you to notice me. I'm only strong when you're around, but you think that I am always strong, so all you do is detach yourself from me, leaving me alone. I _hate_ being alone, okay?!"

Saren's once glowing blue eyes were, covered in tears, and were blood shot to the point where you could barely see the pupil. Saren was slowly crawling towards Anderson, till Anderson took aim for protection "So, *sniff* Anderson, you going to kill me, huh, you going to FUCKING KILL ME, well here I am, take your best _fucking_shot…C'MON, KILL ME…kill me!!" Out of breath, saliva, and mucus, Saren fell to the floor right by Anderson's feet.

Anderson took a brief, yet detailed look at this thing lying on the ground by his feet, and then he noticed something about it, he loved it. The thing was the most annoying and frustrating object in Anderson's life, and he wanted nothing else.

He quickly dropped to his knees and held Saren as he was forcing the last of his tears out. "Saren…Saren look at me, look at me DAMMIT! Why did you fucking do all of this, huh, WHY?!" Saren in a small raspy voiced said

"…because, I don't want you to want me. You deserve more."

"No, Saren, I deserve you, and only you...forever."

They held each other in their arms. There was nothing left of them but what they needed, each other!

* * *

A/N: Okay, yeah, really gay ending...SO SUE ME!!!

Thanks to anyone who read, I love you the most!

Next story will involve Saren and Anderson(Its a FEMshep with Garrus...for you Sherrus lover out there)

Please comment...IM SERIOUS DAMMIT(lol)

~shoe


End file.
